Outpourings III

I'd like to think that I'm a normal being although most of the time I act not.

I laughed my heart out and screamed in kilig while watching Boys Over Flowers (second time around) a few hours ago. Okay, so I'm a koreanovela freak. Now I know why my friend Dane's soooo gagah over this tv series.

A few hours after, I found myself crying over the Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart's movie "Love Happens Sometimes when you least expect it." It was about a widower who wrote a book on how to get over the loss of a loved one and eventually fell in love accidentally to the lady whom he'd just bumped in the hallway of the hotel. He, however, realized as they are starting to get to know each other, that he still isn't over the death of his wife.

I cried because i could feel the pain of the people in the story (Eckhart's followers who attended his seminar on recovery) who lost a loved one and can't seem to find the strength to move on and let go. I cried when I saw Eckhart burst into tears when he admitted to his audience that he himself hasn't fully recovered yet and that he still finds it hard to accept the fact that his wife's already gone. I cried when the father of his wife came to him on stage and hugged him and told him that they never blamed him for the death of his wife, that what they would have wanted was for Eckhart to mourn with them during his wife's death since Eckhart didn't go to his wife's funeral and he just simply cut the ties with them and his wife's memories. I cried because like him, I am still in so much pain for my unexpected loss. That after 5 long years, I still find myself crying during some nights when his memories flash in my mind. I cried because what i saw in the movie is a real-life drama of people who lost their loved ones to death.

It is hard. It is just so hard.