Alive! Alive! Yan ang laging naiisip ng mga tao pag nakakarinig sila ng word na "Christian." To be honest, I also had that kind of impression back then. Blame it on our neighbor in Sampaloc before who used to hold Bible study sessions in their house and then singing Alive Alive, Alive forevermore afterwards. Or more so, blame it on the wrong and/or exgerrated portrayal of media about Christian fellowships and services (remember Jologs?).
But really, today's Christian fellowship services is no longer about crying and laughing and crying again, all eyes closed, and all hands waving (imagine the picture?). Christian fellowships nowadays are more into practical approach in order to entice more people into listening and talking about God and never to scare them out. Thankfully, more people no longer perceive Christianity as being baduy or boring, but rather, it's one of the coolest things to get involved with.
I am one of those thousands of born-again Christians who are blessed enough to have found God and be part of a church who is not legalistic in its manner of teaching God's laws--Victory Christian Fellowship. And for almost 3 years that I've been part of VCF, there was never really a time that I felt regretful or discontented of my chosen community.
To make u understand why I love VCF so much (especially U-belt), here are the reasons:
1. The teachings are practical. They will not command you to do this and that or tell you not to do this and that. Instead, they believe that your love for God will eventually help you do things according to God's will.
2. Every church service is like a seminar and a concert all rolled into one. Sabi nga ng isang friend q na naisama q sa U-belt one time, "ang saya naman, parang may concert lang." The setting is like in an auditorium with a big stage at the center, all musical equipments present. Even the design of the stage is fabulous! As for the preaching, para ka lang nakikinig ng homily na never kang aantukin at mabobore kse lahat ng messages, may weight tlga at super tatagos sa puso't isipan mo:-)
3. The music ministry is super awesome! As in wala aqng masabi. Para mo na ring napanood na nagperform ang Hillsong United at lahat ng worship singers ng live! Fabulous tlga!
4. The pastors are all good-looking:-) Wala ka tlgang itatapon!
5. Ang cool ng mga pastors! Nakakita ka na ba ng pastor na nag-super luigi sa service? or nag-ala matrix kya? or ng youth pastor na pinapasakay ang mga members sa jeep na nasa unahan at nde nakapila tapos sisigawa siya ng barker kse nga nde pa un ang susunod na jeep, tapos ipipilit pa din niya, tapos dadating ang head pastor at palokong tatanuning siyan: Why are you cheating?" at sasagutin lang niya na, "eh mababasa kse sila eh" in a boyish manner? sa VCF lang un:-) Or ng pastor na nagpapavote ng venue for retreat pero dadayain kunwari ung count? or ng pastor na nang mahulog ang cord ng mic pagbigay sa kanya ng isang church leader eh pinilit pigilin ang tawa at nasabi na lang eh: "Holy Spirit come back" sabay ngiti?
6. The technical team is marvelous! The powerpoint presentations, the slideshows, all the visuals, the audios, everything! Fabulous lahat! Even the background of the lyrics kapag pinapakita sa lcd screens are fabulous din!
7. It's fun being part of the ministry. Lahat ng ministries okay tlga. It's not only a venue to serve God but also, it serves as a way to meet with other Christians and have fellowship with them.
8. The topics are amazing. Tlgang pinagiisipan bawat series. They're making it in a way na nde ma-bobore tlga ang mga members.
9. The events and activities are really fun-filled and wonderful. From the 7-day fasting to Freshmen night, to singles teambuilding and retreat, to Christmas Parties, etc., all of these are fantastic!
10. The centers are all grand-. Para kang nanonood ng concert tlga. Sound-proof. Well-lit, big enough to house a big number of people. There are also different rooms for the Toddlers, kids from 3-5, and kids from 6-12.
Actually, i could write a lot of things about VCF that i love the most, but perhaps, these things are a perfect summary of all. I feel really blessed to be part of Victory Christian Fellowship.
To God be the glory!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Usapang Bata 1
Dayalogo namin ni Chloe (my 5-year old cousin):
Ako: Beh, magiging magkapit-bahay na tau eh.
Chloe: Ayoko.
Ako: bket naman?
Chloe: Eh kse lagi aq pupunta sa inyo. Tandaan mo, magiging malaki bahay q.
Ako: pano naman?
Chloe: syempre magiging stewardess aq.
Ako: Eh ang taba-taba mo kya.
Chloe: Pagdating q ng 12, payat n aq.
Ako: Ano? 12 pa? Bket nde pa ngaun?
Chloe: eh syempre bata pa aq. pagdting q na lang ng 12.kakain muna aq ngaun.
Pambihira!
Ako: Beh, magiging magkapit-bahay na tau eh.
Chloe: Ayoko.
Ako: bket naman?
Chloe: Eh kse lagi aq pupunta sa inyo. Tandaan mo, magiging malaki bahay q.
Ako: pano naman?
Chloe: syempre magiging stewardess aq.
Ako: Eh ang taba-taba mo kya.
Chloe: Pagdating q ng 12, payat n aq.
Ako: Ano? 12 pa? Bket nde pa ngaun?
Chloe: eh syempre bata pa aq. pagdting q na lang ng 12.kakain muna aq ngaun.
Pambihira!
Monday, July 6, 2009
God the Father Revealed-Week 2 Reconciliation
In last week’s service at VCF-Malate, Pastor Nixon talked about the Parableof the Prodigal Son. He further explained that in that parable, there is actually three prodigal characters: the second son (which is the one we already know about), the first son, and the father himself.
First, let’s define the meaning of the word Prodigal.
Prodigal means to give lavishly or extravagantly wasteful.
The second son who asked for his inheritance from his father and left their home was said to be prodigal because he lavishly wasted all the money he got from his father to some worldly things. As for the first son—the one who chose to stay with his father and tend his flocks—he was said to be prodigal, too, for the reason that he wasted extravagantly the time he's supposed to show his love for his father and just opted to focus more on tending the flock and the field.
So why is it that the father is also being considered prodigal?
Simply because he is extravagantly giving all his love to his sons without even thinking if that love is being wasted or not. Despite what the second son had done to him, he still accepted him when he returned and even called a feast for him. Moreover, when the first son got angry at him and chided him for still accepting the second son, he didn’t get angry at him. Instead, the father just hugged him and explained to him the reason why he still chose to accept the second son.
Our good God is exactly like the father in the story of the Prodigal Son. We might have failed him a million of times before or we might still be doing a lot of wrongs in our lives now, but He never and will never take His back on us.
More often than not, we chose to live in the way the norms of this world had thought us to live. We often neglect the teachings of God and laid comfortably on the thought that God will always understand that we are just human beings and are obviously prone to temptations. True, God will always forgive, but don’t you think that we are being too harsh on God, too unfair to Him? We always ask for His blessings, for His provisions in our lives, but we seldom take the initiative to delight Him by following Him. In our minds, we often reason out: This isn’t my time yet to be Holy, or to follow God and His rules, or to read the Bible, etc.
So when will be the right time? When we are already old enough to regret on the wasting a good part of our lives following the norms of this world? Or when we are already on our deathbed and just waiting for God’s call?
God, like most of the loving fathers we have, is a very loving, caring, and considerate father . He always gives and never ask for a grand thing from us. What He only asks of us is to love Him back, spend a couple of minutes of each day talking to Him, and just rest our faith in Him. He never asked us to give up our lives for Him for He knows that it’ll be too much for us to handle.
Let us not look at God us only our CREATOR. Rather, it’ll be much sweeter and lovely if we’ll start looking at God us our very own father who is always more than willing to bless us and delight us with good provisions.
First, let’s define the meaning of the word Prodigal.
Prodigal means to give lavishly or extravagantly wasteful.
The second son who asked for his inheritance from his father and left their home was said to be prodigal because he lavishly wasted all the money he got from his father to some worldly things. As for the first son—the one who chose to stay with his father and tend his flocks—he was said to be prodigal, too, for the reason that he wasted extravagantly the time he's supposed to show his love for his father and just opted to focus more on tending the flock and the field.
So why is it that the father is also being considered prodigal?
Simply because he is extravagantly giving all his love to his sons without even thinking if that love is being wasted or not. Despite what the second son had done to him, he still accepted him when he returned and even called a feast for him. Moreover, when the first son got angry at him and chided him for still accepting the second son, he didn’t get angry at him. Instead, the father just hugged him and explained to him the reason why he still chose to accept the second son.
Our good God is exactly like the father in the story of the Prodigal Son. We might have failed him a million of times before or we might still be doing a lot of wrongs in our lives now, but He never and will never take His back on us.
More often than not, we chose to live in the way the norms of this world had thought us to live. We often neglect the teachings of God and laid comfortably on the thought that God will always understand that we are just human beings and are obviously prone to temptations. True, God will always forgive, but don’t you think that we are being too harsh on God, too unfair to Him? We always ask for His blessings, for His provisions in our lives, but we seldom take the initiative to delight Him by following Him. In our minds, we often reason out: This isn’t my time yet to be Holy, or to follow God and His rules, or to read the Bible, etc.
So when will be the right time? When we are already old enough to regret on the wasting a good part of our lives following the norms of this world? Or when we are already on our deathbed and just waiting for God’s call?
God, like most of the loving fathers we have, is a very loving, caring, and considerate father . He always gives and never ask for a grand thing from us. What He only asks of us is to love Him back, spend a couple of minutes of each day talking to Him, and just rest our faith in Him. He never asked us to give up our lives for Him for He knows that it’ll be too much for us to handle.
Let us not look at God us only our CREATOR. Rather, it’ll be much sweeter and lovely if we’ll start looking at God us our very own father who is always more than willing to bless us and delight us with good provisions.
Just Because I Can't Stop Watching 'Man in the Mirror' in YOUTUBE.
I have to be honest. I’m not a big Michael Jackson fan. Last I checked, I didn’t have any of his song in my playlist. Perhaps, it’s because I was too young to admire a singer/performer during the time when he was at the peak of his career.
But then again, the news of his sudden death really shocked and saddened me. It, however, took a couple of days before his death finally dawned on me. My office mate even called me in my mobile that day to ask if I was alright (knowing I’m the type of person who will literally cry over the death of people, especially entertainers). But to be honest, I can’t really find the right emotion to feel that day when he was announced dead in the news. I didn’t know if I should feel happy for Michael Jackson that finally, he will have that rest and peace he’d long been wishing for; or sad for the one and only King of Pop is now gone for good.
Frankly, when I heard of the news, the first thing (person) that crossed my mind was Ely Buendia. Weird, but true. I felt afraid of what might happen to Ely Buendia or what would I feel should Ely have a heart attack again. Ely was to me what Michael is for my mom and my titos and titas.
But then again, guess I couldn’t really let MJ’s death pass by without me letting out my heartfelt emotion over what had befalled. As expected, I also cried over MJ’s passing away. This happened just last Friday night after watching Repertory Philippine’s Funtastiks (connect?). For few days, I’ve been avoiding the feeling of sadness over his death for I don’t want to burden myself with the sad memories of his death (so feel q tlga, close kme!). Michael Jackson is just a big guy in the history of music and his death is really something that you couldn’t easily shrug off or accept. Hearing his songs being played over and over again everywhere really added insult to the injury.
I may not be a big fan of his music or his songs but I’ve always liked Michael Jackson as a person. Even when the news about his child molestation cases was put out and was highly publicized before, never did I lost my admiration for him as a person. I’ve always felt he is a good person—only that, he was filled with sad and bitter emotions. He might be one of the richest persons in this world, but emptiness still clouded his sad life.
Perhaps, the reason why I didn't cry hard when I heard of his death is because I felt that WE'VE LOST MICHAEL JACKSON A LONG TIME AGO. During those times when the media didn't want to give him the privacy and peaceful life that he wants, we've already lost him because he chose to veer away from the cruel world of entertainment and media. It's just so sad that now that he decided to resurrect from his long slumber, God decided to call him back to His kingdom. But that's just the way it is. God has His own reasons. Perhaps, He saw that MJ is already tired of this life-long battle with sorrow and emptiness that He decided to put an end to MJ's misery. At least now, our one and only King of Pop has finally found the fulfilment that he'd long been searching for.
Michael Jackson. King of Pop. His music will forever play in the hearts of his millions of fans all over the world. At one point, his music really helped heal this world. With his music, he was able to unite the people through a common interest. And then again, by his death, the whole world is also united in mourning for him.
Here's to a wonderful journey towards the eternal life to the one and only King of Pop--Michael Jackson!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Letting Go and Letting God
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;a time for war, and a time for peace.
Last Monday night was one of those nights when I sincerely felt God talking to me through the words in the Bible. And these words from the book of Ecclesiastes, I believe, was God’s message for me.
When I had my Victory Weekend last March and wholly submitted my life to God’s loving embrace, I sincerely proclaimed that I’ll be letting go of my past already. I was not sure if I’m ready enough that time to actually move on and let go, but what mattered to me was God’s desire for my life and what would satisfy Him. I know that my continously living in the past and reliving each and every precious memories I had there were seemingly not the things that would delight God. And since I was declared a new creation, I know I have to live a new life with brand new dreams and hopes—and that meant letting go of Oliver and that love that once bound us.
It was hard. It was one of the toughest decisions I had to make. For almost 5 years since he died, I’ve never entertained the idea of letting go of him and finding new love. It was always the ‘you and me till eternity or till the next life.’ I was never comfortable with the idea of leaving the memories of us behind and building a new chapter of my life with another man.
But as it was God’s plan for me to lose a wonderful love to a sudden death at a tender age of 21, it’s also part of his majestic plan that I’ll one day be strong enough to let go of my past and move forward to the new phase of my journey.
I honestly don’t know if I’m already outfitted for this ‘moving on’ thing, but one thing’s for sure, God is working in my life now. If before I only have a passive relationship with him, now it’s definitely activated. I could feel Him and I know that He could already feel my love for Him. Perhaps, it’s my faith in God that prompted me to face the sad reality that Oliver can never go back to this life and that we’re now living in two different worlds. For years, I’ve believed that Oliver could still hear me or could still talk to me even in dreams. But I was wrong. I was told that I might just being deceived by my emotions. Oliver will never be brought back to life no matter how many stories of ressurrection or reincarnation I could read, or no matter how frequent I am in visiting him in the cemetery, or how much I plead God for another shot. What’s done is done and there’s truly nothing I could do to it than to move on and let go.
And with unswerving faith to God’s promises and His plans for my life, I declared during the casting out part in the VCF Weekend that I’m already letting go of my past and will now move into another chapter of my life.
Honestly, there was relief when I declared my vow to move on and let go. It was as if I was liberated and was awaken from a deep slumber. I must admit, though, I still nurture in my heart that special love for Oliver. But of course, that feeling won’t ever cease from my heart. It will forever be a part of my being. After all, Oliver is still my one great love, and as Ricky Lee put it in his book Para Kay B:
“kadalasan, hindi nakakatuluyan ng isang tao ang kanyang one great love. Mananatili lang yang nakatago sa isang sulok sa puso mo.”
And finally, I decided to open my heart again. And with this unlocking comes a new series of falling and getting hurt again. I’m really not sure if I’m already geared up for this whole thing again. For a time, I let myself believed that I’m already done with this whole kaboosh of love. For a long period of time, I’ve succesfully safeguarded my heart from the twinge of love. And now, I’m really not sure if it’s worth giving love a shot in my life again.
I must admit, the thought of meeting that man whom God really desires for my life, excites me. Whenever I hear the pastors from our church saying endearing words to their wives or sharing lovely stories of their romance, it thrills me to know that there is really that one soul that God really prepared for you alone. As what the pastors always say, seek God’s desire for your lovelife and you’ll surely end up with the right person. It never fails to delight me whenever I see the lovely couples in our church whom I believed sought the desire of God first and put it first and foremost before their own choice that’s why they remain in love and in full bloom with their partners.
Perhaps I miss the feeling of being in love with a living person that I let myself be encapsulated with the thoughts of meeting somebody who will rightfully share a space with Oliver in my heart. Everytime I meet someone, i can’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, this man is already the man God planned for me. But no. None of them made it to God’s preference for me.
Those episodes were a bit disappointing, but I’m more hopeful now. I know that I am very much precious to God that He only wants the best for me. I’ve learned from my past mistakes and experiences. If before I easily sulk over a supposed-love-affair-that-just-ended-with-a-shrug-and-would-be’s, now I know how to handle situations like this better. I now pray for God’s desire for my life and not my own. I no longer pray for things that I want; rather, I pray for things that God wants for my life. It’s more of Him and less of me now.
And last night, as I went to God and sought comfort in Him for a somehow ‘hurting truth’ I’ve discovered, God revealed to me His promises through the book of Ecclesiastes: There’s always a time for everything. There’s no use rushing things if it’s not God doing or asking you to do it.
In this new life that I have with God, faith is what keeps me going and strong. I know that whatever circumstance I am and will be into, I just have to seek for God and His desire and I know that I’ll be alright. God is my strong refuge for always.
I am finally moving on and letting go….and I’m happily doing it with God.
A time to be born, and a time to die;a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;a time for war, and a time for peace.
Last Monday night was one of those nights when I sincerely felt God talking to me through the words in the Bible. And these words from the book of Ecclesiastes, I believe, was God’s message for me.
When I had my Victory Weekend last March and wholly submitted my life to God’s loving embrace, I sincerely proclaimed that I’ll be letting go of my past already. I was not sure if I’m ready enough that time to actually move on and let go, but what mattered to me was God’s desire for my life and what would satisfy Him. I know that my continously living in the past and reliving each and every precious memories I had there were seemingly not the things that would delight God. And since I was declared a new creation, I know I have to live a new life with brand new dreams and hopes—and that meant letting go of Oliver and that love that once bound us.
It was hard. It was one of the toughest decisions I had to make. For almost 5 years since he died, I’ve never entertained the idea of letting go of him and finding new love. It was always the ‘you and me till eternity or till the next life.’ I was never comfortable with the idea of leaving the memories of us behind and building a new chapter of my life with another man.
But as it was God’s plan for me to lose a wonderful love to a sudden death at a tender age of 21, it’s also part of his majestic plan that I’ll one day be strong enough to let go of my past and move forward to the new phase of my journey.
I honestly don’t know if I’m already outfitted for this ‘moving on’ thing, but one thing’s for sure, God is working in my life now. If before I only have a passive relationship with him, now it’s definitely activated. I could feel Him and I know that He could already feel my love for Him. Perhaps, it’s my faith in God that prompted me to face the sad reality that Oliver can never go back to this life and that we’re now living in two different worlds. For years, I’ve believed that Oliver could still hear me or could still talk to me even in dreams. But I was wrong. I was told that I might just being deceived by my emotions. Oliver will never be brought back to life no matter how many stories of ressurrection or reincarnation I could read, or no matter how frequent I am in visiting him in the cemetery, or how much I plead God for another shot. What’s done is done and there’s truly nothing I could do to it than to move on and let go.
And with unswerving faith to God’s promises and His plans for my life, I declared during the casting out part in the VCF Weekend that I’m already letting go of my past and will now move into another chapter of my life.
Honestly, there was relief when I declared my vow to move on and let go. It was as if I was liberated and was awaken from a deep slumber. I must admit, though, I still nurture in my heart that special love for Oliver. But of course, that feeling won’t ever cease from my heart. It will forever be a part of my being. After all, Oliver is still my one great love, and as Ricky Lee put it in his book Para Kay B:
“kadalasan, hindi nakakatuluyan ng isang tao ang kanyang one great love. Mananatili lang yang nakatago sa isang sulok sa puso mo.”
And finally, I decided to open my heart again. And with this unlocking comes a new series of falling and getting hurt again. I’m really not sure if I’m already geared up for this whole thing again. For a time, I let myself believed that I’m already done with this whole kaboosh of love. For a long period of time, I’ve succesfully safeguarded my heart from the twinge of love. And now, I’m really not sure if it’s worth giving love a shot in my life again.
I must admit, the thought of meeting that man whom God really desires for my life, excites me. Whenever I hear the pastors from our church saying endearing words to their wives or sharing lovely stories of their romance, it thrills me to know that there is really that one soul that God really prepared for you alone. As what the pastors always say, seek God’s desire for your lovelife and you’ll surely end up with the right person. It never fails to delight me whenever I see the lovely couples in our church whom I believed sought the desire of God first and put it first and foremost before their own choice that’s why they remain in love and in full bloom with their partners.
Perhaps I miss the feeling of being in love with a living person that I let myself be encapsulated with the thoughts of meeting somebody who will rightfully share a space with Oliver in my heart. Everytime I meet someone, i can’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, this man is already the man God planned for me. But no. None of them made it to God’s preference for me.
Those episodes were a bit disappointing, but I’m more hopeful now. I know that I am very much precious to God that He only wants the best for me. I’ve learned from my past mistakes and experiences. If before I easily sulk over a supposed-love-affair-that-just-ended-with-a-shrug-and-would-be’s, now I know how to handle situations like this better. I now pray for God’s desire for my life and not my own. I no longer pray for things that I want; rather, I pray for things that God wants for my life. It’s more of Him and less of me now.
And last night, as I went to God and sought comfort in Him for a somehow ‘hurting truth’ I’ve discovered, God revealed to me His promises through the book of Ecclesiastes: There’s always a time for everything. There’s no use rushing things if it’s not God doing or asking you to do it.
In this new life that I have with God, faith is what keeps me going and strong. I know that whatever circumstance I am and will be into, I just have to seek for God and His desire and I know that I’ll be alright. God is my strong refuge for always.
I am finally moving on and letting go….and I’m happily doing it with God.
Monday, October 13, 2008
I Found A New Passion
Dialogue from last week’s small group session with Ate Noemi:
Noemi: Ikaw Apple, nakikita q sau ung potential na maging isang missionary.
Me: Ako? Missionary? Nyek! Tlga?
Noemi: Oo. Tandaan mo ‘tong araw na ‘to, this exact time na sinabi q sau yan. Believe me, magiging isang missionary ka.
And a smile was plastered on my face from that time onwards.
To be perfectly frank and honest, never in my 25 years of existence had I imagined or even thought of myself as going to various places all over the world and spreading the good news about God. I mean, of course I love God with all my heart and with all my soul, but I just can’t seem to see myself doing that kind of thing. Not that I’m ashamed of it. It’s more of, “man, I’m apple lopez. Ask those people who know me and let them define what kind of person I am? Do you think those people would believe the things I say?” Wheewww!
I am not a good person. I’m friendly and approachable, but I’m not really good. I have my own dark side. My mom could definitely attest that they’re all frantic in the house every time I lose my temper. I’m never a good daughter or a sister. Not even a great friend. So how, in all sense of the word ‘how’ could someone see me as a future missionary and lecturer of the mighty words of God?
Nevertheless, I must admit that that ‘odd’ statement from my small group leader really did make me smile from the inside out. And then again, I was blessed with another goal in my life; another thing to hope for—and that’s to be a missionary of God.
Most people who’ve known me since time immemorial may find this really funny. Moreover, I might be ridiculed by my beloved friends for this another realization of mine. I could imagine them bursting out their hearts out with laughter once they found out about this new ‘trip’ of mine.
Oh well, whatever! Unimaginable as it is, but I believe that God really planned my life to be as uniquely important as ever. He never wanted it to be simple, in the first place. My love story was created very distinctly wonderful, and ended as distinctly painful as planned.
Looking back, I was just an ordinary young lady who, in a way, already knows what she wants in her life: To be a well-celebrated writer, as simple as that. God, however, didn’t want me to be just any ordinary woman with simple hopes in life. He wants me to live a life full of greatness. So He decided to add some spices to my less-seasoned existence. He sprinkled in a cup-full of pain in my heart, dash it with a gallon of tears, and drop wonderful bits of surprises before shaking it over.
What I am right now is the upshot of that brilliant mixture. I will never know how strong I am without those seemingly happy, sad, and tragic incidents in my life that perfectly defined what I am today. I am not to say I’m happy that I lost a great love to the inexorable slash of death. I’ll be the most stupid and stone-hearted creature on earth if I say so. I will never be relieved of that painful thought. However, now I thankfully know the reason behind that tragedy. It is for me to find God once again and be able to accept a new mission in my life.
Come to think of it, had that tragedy didn’t happen to me, I might not be able to actually experience this great feeling of closeness to God. I may be just like the other people who know in their mind that God is God, but are never really putting Him in their hearts. Everything that I’m doing for my religion may just be an obligation to me had I not experienced that kind of pain. It was through that pain that God pulled me back closer to Him and made me feel His warm embrace. It was through that unwanted pain that I was able to see God as my father and not just a god that I have to worship.
God wants me to serve Him in my own way. He wants both me and Oliver to serve Him in our own special ways. We might not be able to do that if we’re together in this world that God decided to call one from us to be with Him and serve Him in His kingdom in heaven, and He deemed that Oliver is much deserving to be called that time than me since he’d already found his worthy purpose, and he’s such a good man that God didn’t want this sinful world to exploit his mind and character again. As for me, I still have lots of catching ups to do that I had to be left here. It was very excruciating at first, but as I went on with my growing faith in God, I’m slowly understanding the purpose of our meeting, our love story, and its tragic ending.
Now, aside from pursuing my long-time passion of being a well-celebrated writer (a true writer in that sense and not just writer-wannabes who are just wasting that spaces in the newspaper and magazines with their ‘posh’ beauty ideas), God instilled me another passion that I’ve yet to pursue once I’m ripe enough to do it…and that’s to reach out to those people who are still not aware of God’s existence or are too stubborn and moved by worldly things to follow God’s calling.
Yes, I’m claiming it now, I will be a missionary. I will go to various places all over the world to preach about the goodness of God. Never mind if this goal is a bit too complicated and dangerous, especially in Muslim places. I know God will be in this journey. I didn’t ask for this feeling. God was the one who put this realization in my heart, and that’s why I’m confident that I could make it.
I’m still a big-time sinner. I’m never a dutiful Christian. I still have my mood swings and I still can’t control my temper. I still feel I’m not worthy to be called the child of God. People might still say “kala q ba Christian ka, eh bakit ka ganyan?” to me whenever I did something wrong. But what I’m armed with now is that faith that God is working His way in my mind, my heart, and in my life. He’s slowly changing me. In time, my little baby-steps towards changing my negative traits will soon be manifested in my actions and in my words. In time, I will be deserving to be called a ‘Christian’ without people raising their brows after the declaration. In time, I will be able to help in making every nation a nation of God.
But for now, let me just use this little space in the web, my God-given talent, and my heart’s content in spreading the good news about God. I hope that in one way or the other, you may find in this thousand of words a piece of relief to rest your wary mind and heart.
God is forever goodJ
Noemi: Ikaw Apple, nakikita q sau ung potential na maging isang missionary.
Me: Ako? Missionary? Nyek! Tlga?
Noemi: Oo. Tandaan mo ‘tong araw na ‘to, this exact time na sinabi q sau yan. Believe me, magiging isang missionary ka.
And a smile was plastered on my face from that time onwards.
To be perfectly frank and honest, never in my 25 years of existence had I imagined or even thought of myself as going to various places all over the world and spreading the good news about God. I mean, of course I love God with all my heart and with all my soul, but I just can’t seem to see myself doing that kind of thing. Not that I’m ashamed of it. It’s more of, “man, I’m apple lopez. Ask those people who know me and let them define what kind of person I am? Do you think those people would believe the things I say?” Wheewww!
I am not a good person. I’m friendly and approachable, but I’m not really good. I have my own dark side. My mom could definitely attest that they’re all frantic in the house every time I lose my temper. I’m never a good daughter or a sister. Not even a great friend. So how, in all sense of the word ‘how’ could someone see me as a future missionary and lecturer of the mighty words of God?
Nevertheless, I must admit that that ‘odd’ statement from my small group leader really did make me smile from the inside out. And then again, I was blessed with another goal in my life; another thing to hope for—and that’s to be a missionary of God.
Most people who’ve known me since time immemorial may find this really funny. Moreover, I might be ridiculed by my beloved friends for this another realization of mine. I could imagine them bursting out their hearts out with laughter once they found out about this new ‘trip’ of mine.
Oh well, whatever! Unimaginable as it is, but I believe that God really planned my life to be as uniquely important as ever. He never wanted it to be simple, in the first place. My love story was created very distinctly wonderful, and ended as distinctly painful as planned.
Looking back, I was just an ordinary young lady who, in a way, already knows what she wants in her life: To be a well-celebrated writer, as simple as that. God, however, didn’t want me to be just any ordinary woman with simple hopes in life. He wants me to live a life full of greatness. So He decided to add some spices to my less-seasoned existence. He sprinkled in a cup-full of pain in my heart, dash it with a gallon of tears, and drop wonderful bits of surprises before shaking it over.
What I am right now is the upshot of that brilliant mixture. I will never know how strong I am without those seemingly happy, sad, and tragic incidents in my life that perfectly defined what I am today. I am not to say I’m happy that I lost a great love to the inexorable slash of death. I’ll be the most stupid and stone-hearted creature on earth if I say so. I will never be relieved of that painful thought. However, now I thankfully know the reason behind that tragedy. It is for me to find God once again and be able to accept a new mission in my life.
Come to think of it, had that tragedy didn’t happen to me, I might not be able to actually experience this great feeling of closeness to God. I may be just like the other people who know in their mind that God is God, but are never really putting Him in their hearts. Everything that I’m doing for my religion may just be an obligation to me had I not experienced that kind of pain. It was through that pain that God pulled me back closer to Him and made me feel His warm embrace. It was through that unwanted pain that I was able to see God as my father and not just a god that I have to worship.
God wants me to serve Him in my own way. He wants both me and Oliver to serve Him in our own special ways. We might not be able to do that if we’re together in this world that God decided to call one from us to be with Him and serve Him in His kingdom in heaven, and He deemed that Oliver is much deserving to be called that time than me since he’d already found his worthy purpose, and he’s such a good man that God didn’t want this sinful world to exploit his mind and character again. As for me, I still have lots of catching ups to do that I had to be left here. It was very excruciating at first, but as I went on with my growing faith in God, I’m slowly understanding the purpose of our meeting, our love story, and its tragic ending.
Now, aside from pursuing my long-time passion of being a well-celebrated writer (a true writer in that sense and not just writer-wannabes who are just wasting that spaces in the newspaper and magazines with their ‘posh’ beauty ideas), God instilled me another passion that I’ve yet to pursue once I’m ripe enough to do it…and that’s to reach out to those people who are still not aware of God’s existence or are too stubborn and moved by worldly things to follow God’s calling.
Yes, I’m claiming it now, I will be a missionary. I will go to various places all over the world to preach about the goodness of God. Never mind if this goal is a bit too complicated and dangerous, especially in Muslim places. I know God will be in this journey. I didn’t ask for this feeling. God was the one who put this realization in my heart, and that’s why I’m confident that I could make it.
I’m still a big-time sinner. I’m never a dutiful Christian. I still have my mood swings and I still can’t control my temper. I still feel I’m not worthy to be called the child of God. People might still say “kala q ba Christian ka, eh bakit ka ganyan?” to me whenever I did something wrong. But what I’m armed with now is that faith that God is working His way in my mind, my heart, and in my life. He’s slowly changing me. In time, my little baby-steps towards changing my negative traits will soon be manifested in my actions and in my words. In time, I will be deserving to be called a ‘Christian’ without people raising their brows after the declaration. In time, I will be able to help in making every nation a nation of God.
But for now, let me just use this little space in the web, my God-given talent, and my heart’s content in spreading the good news about God. I hope that in one way or the other, you may find in this thousand of words a piece of relief to rest your wary mind and heart.
God is forever goodJ
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