Note to Father God to fix issues with Voldemort.

Dear Father God,

You are really confusing me right now. I know I prayed to you last night that I hope you will send me someone as good and as loving as Oliver one of these days, but I also understand that I really need to resolve some issues within me first before you will send me that someone. When I opened the Bible, the first words that I saw was "DO NOT COVET," which immediately put that Voldemort guy in the animated thoughts of my mind. Oh well, perhaps it's because he's the only guy I know I'm quite attracted with who already has someone special. Before I sleep, Lord you know very well that it was Oliver I was thinking about so I am just a little amazed that it was that Voldemort guy I dreamed about last night. Lord, I swear that I didn't think of him that much anymore, at least not as much as I used to a couple of weeks ago. I was even proud of myself that i was able to let my mind win over my heart again. We seldom talk online, as well, since I told him that I would prefer him emailing me na lang my writing projects. I really decided to put a stop to all this hullabaloos about him. And I meant that. Seriously. So I was really surprised to see him in my dream again.

AGAIN. Because when I checked on his FB page this afternoon and saw one of his photos, I remembered the face of the guy in my previous dream about the ring which i don't want to accept because I don't want to let go of the ring that Oliver gave to me. I'd been struck with a slice of realization that I was just denying to myself and that I already know from the moment I woke up that it was that Voldemort guy in that dream about the ring and it was his sad face that i saw.

Dear Lord, why does it have to be this way, to feel this way. I mean, I am more than okay now, or at least before that second dream occurred. I am even certain that I don't want to do anything with him anymore. I don't know if it was YOU or perhaps that side of me who always look for signs that I seem to always see his name everywhere I look, especially when I open the Bible. of all the names in the Bible, why do I have to see his name over and over again. Alright, given the fact that his name is really prominent in the Bible and in the story of this world, but.......I don't know! Or perhaps, I'm just being too praning? Or another perhaps, it's just an after-effect of watching Becoming Jane?


Lord, please, help me get out of this dilemma. I know this is part of your plan for me and this confusion is one of your ways for me to test my patience and my willpower against temptation. I just pray Lord that you make me stronger and may You bless me with a discerning mind and heart so I could distinguish Your voice from that of the devil's or from the voice coming from my heart's desires. I only give my trust to You for I know that you will take care of my heart.

Amen.

Bagong Pilipinas: A Nation Filled with Good Hopes for the Country

Today is indeed a very historical day for the Filipinos. A few moments ago, our 15th President, NoyNoy Aquino, was inaugurated at the Quirino Grandstand in Manila together with the newly-elected Vice-president Jejomar Binay. It was indeed a defining moment for the Filipinos as we were finally liberated from the claws of the previous corruptive government. More than half a million Filipinos went to Quirino Grandstand to personally witness the inauguration of the new president. Those people didn't mind the heat of the sun, the sweat, and other obstacles. They just wanted to be there, flesh and blood, to witness and experience the start of the so-called change that this country's long been waiting and hoping for.

As for me and the millions of other Filipinos, we decided to just stay in the house and watch the live coverage of the inauguration on television. It might have felt a lot amazing if I could watch the rites at Quirino Grandstand and join the other Filipinos shouting for joy, but I woke up late and I wasn't really that excited of this PNoy's inauguration thing before.

It was when I saw on TV a large flock of Filipinos who really braved their way to the venue of the inauguration, all smiling, and their faces all filled with hopes for the incoming new government that I felt so melodramatic, as if my heart melted.

Admittedly, tears fell from my eyes when various Filipino artists sang the official inaugural song "Bagong Pilipinas." I actually had goosebumps. The lyrics of the song spoke of it all-- the gladness of the whole nation for this victory and the hope for change. But it was still Noel Cabangon's powerful performance who made me burst into tears. I loved it when he asked everyone to raise their right hands and vowed to be good Filipino citizens. I totally agree with Jim Paredes when he tweeted that Noel Cabangon's song should be immortalized. In my own opinion, has that special power to talk to you sincerely through his songs about love for country, for change, about yourself and what should you be doing as a citizen of this country. He is indeed the man!

Then came the inaugural address of President Noynoy Aquino. I must admit, I was glued to the television set, listening to his speech. I wasn't that interested in speeches before, but PNoy's speech was something worth listening to. He made it sound so natural. It wasn't really boring at all. It was supposed to be just for 10 minutes but it was actually 20 minutes long. But it's okay. He gave a view of what his government would be like in the next six years. I guess that part of his speech that stayed so much on my head was when he said that the Filipinos are his boss and that there'll be no more wang-wang's on the road, counterflows and kotongs.

Honestly, I was never a fan of Noynoy. I didn't even vote for him. I was even the one telling my friends and family that he doesn't deserve the people's votes because he's forever using the names of his parents. Right now, I still don't root for him. We still don't know if he could really bring change to the Philippines.

But yes, I am in one with the millions of Filipinos all over the world who are praying for a real great change to our country.

I am putting my faith in God and not to the new president because no matter what, it is still God who has the ultimate power to create change. I pray that He will use PNoy to make that change and that satan will not be given a chance to even get a hold of him, or at least whisper evil thoughts to him.

I hope that PNoy will not see money and power as brilliant and tantalizing as they looked before in the eyes of the previous governments. Instead, may true service and honest governance look more appealing to him. May the picture of the millions of Filipinos who believed in him shine on his thoughts everyday so that his main purpose of having that seat would really be carried out.

The Filipinos prayed for this change. a lot of measures had been observed and took place just to make sure that this year's election could really mean change. I say it was a success for it was not only a few influential and powerful people who chose the president now, like it used to be before. It was the people's choice this time. Hence, I am filled with high hopes for this new government.

I know PNoy is no Santa Claus that he could grant all our wishes and request, but I hope that he could at least grant the greatest wish of all---TO SERVE AND LEAD THE COUNTRY HONESTLY.

I have always been proud of being a Filipino, but I hope that with this new government, I would be even more proud to be called as one.

Mabuhay ang Pilipinas!

Winning the Battle against Paranoia

I have this thing in me that's called DEADLY PARANOIA. Define that? Okay, here it is.

Take 1. Sometimes, I don't like attending meetings in the church where I used to attend regularly kse I felt that people there are talking about me not being active in the church anymore. I know for sure that's not true but still, I let myself be affected with that nonsensical thoughts in my head.

Take 2. The last time I attended a service in that church was I think January pa. The reason: same reason as Take 1. I don't feel welcomed anymore. Then again, I know that's super not true but the paranoid me still chose to concede with the other thought.

Take 3. Whenever I walk into the room full of people, I am so paranoid that all eyes will look at me and observe whatever it is I'm wearing. i mean, not that I look so stunning and all; it's just that I'm super praning.

Take 4. I hate being late in a meeting (but I always do). i don't like it that all eyes will look at me when I enter the room and their attention will be diverted to me. If only I could just sneak or crawl inside without them noticing me.

Those are just some of my paranoia issues. I still have a lot in store. And right now, I want to burn all those pa in store. I just want to get rid of them for the rest of my life. They're just so unhealthy to keep. I know for sure they will just ruin me and will take my sanity away. Ayoko nang maging adik!

The solution? It's could be found in Psalm 55:22--CAST YOUR CARES UNTO THE LORD.

Perhaps, I have not been trusting HIm well enough that's why I am allowing these paranoia to overcome the best of me. Or perhaps, I put my trust on my own alone thinking this issue is not an issue that should be lifted to God.

Whatever. I know worrying and paranoia are things that don't come from God. So since I'm His daughter, I should totally eradicate these things from my system. I know doing that is not easy since there are things and obstacles in my everyday life which will prompt me to worry again, but knowing that I have a good Father in heaven who is always by my side and protecting me, I know I only need to say a word and He will take away those negative thoughts from my mind.


1 Peter 5:6,7 6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: 7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

From Baywalk to Seoul to Tokyo?

While walking along Baywalk this afternoon with my good friend jayne, I tried to look beyond the people and set my sight way further straight. Amazingly, Baywalk suddenly turned into something sort of a serene park in Seoul, Korea or a street somewhere in Tokyo. Really, that's the first time that I saw Baywalk like that. I personally liked how the leaves of the trees from one side touched the leaves or converged with the leaves of the trees from the other side. Mala-Endless Love ang dating:-)

Realization: If you'll try to see beyond the negative side of things or the adversaries in your life, you can see that there's always a bright future ahead. You can see that the road is really not at all rough and your heart will be filled with hopes and beautiful aspirations. If we'll set our sights on what we could easily see, it would be difficult for us to understand that God always has great plans for our lives.